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#404 Put yourself in a place where you feel vulnerable
and uneasy
I think I might have a split personality, half of me enjoys people's company
and the other hates it, both these depending on who, what, where, etc. of
course. Although in general it doesn’t take much for me to feel uneasy.
Back in 2012 my partner and I went and seen Eminem live in concert in Sydney.
While the thought of seeing Eminem live was exciting I was so freakin nervous!
For starters I had never been to Sydney, let alone such a large concert so I
was imagining the worst case scenario of thousands and thousands of people.
Which I suppose there was. Even just being in the cab on the way to our motel
had me thinking things like “Oh crap I don’t have a will yet!”… Sydney is so
hectic, people pushing in here, ducking in there… not what I am used to at all.
We arrived at our motel, and were staying in the pent house. Dressed ready and
having a couple of drinks to help get us in the party mood and all I could do
was panic about what was to come. I was stressing that hard I was dry reaching
and my hands were shaking. Yet I wanted to go and was looking forward to it.
How do you figure that? Yes, oh did I forget to mention I have a mild case of
anxiety? Throw that, a new situation, a crowd or something I don't know in
together and I have a recipe for panic. My partner as always tried calming me and we left for the stadium. People everywhere!
All I could think was "omg I'm going to get lost, left behind and gimped!”
We had front row tickets and once the concert started me being a short ass
couldn't see. I figured I needed to pretty much man up and find a spot or spend
the next couple of hours listening to the random back of someone’s head sing me
Eminem songs.
So I left my partner making my way to the front fence
where I had a perfect and very close view. Eminem live! Woop! Once I had
settled into my spot and told myself I don’t know any of these people, I was
fine. Singing, dancing and having a good time, and as always thought to myself "why
did you stress out?” I was so close it wasn't funny, standing next to the front gate where they take all the people and especially young girls out of the mosh pit, because it's to much for them. The view... well he spoke for himself, well should I say sung for himself.
It's just a part of me I guess, I stress over a lot of things that I shouldn’t.
Taking on to many of my friend’s problems as my own, worrying about the worst
before it happens, there being to many people or things going on in one place
and all despite knowing better. I guess somehow it makes me feel slightly
prepared. Nothing can happen that I haven't already thought about, but nothing I ever
think about ever happens.
So as per usual, I stressed about nothing. The Eminem
concert was great, we had a fantastic time, and I got home safe and sound.
Would definitely do it again, but this time spend a little more time in the
crazy hectic shopping malls of Sydney and go shopping! Of course I would still feel uneasy, but that's just me.
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